18 years

It is hard to believe that it has been 18 years since Dad died.

We went to the cemetery today.  I usually try to get over there every once and again to clean up the marker.

  

We pulled up and happened to catch Kip and Katie as they were just getting ready to leave.  We all wandered over to the grave and talked for a little while.

I have to admit that visiting the grave is not something I really do actively... I don't feel any closer to Dad there than anywhere else.  But this turned out to be kind of a special visit.

Chaison was at a scouting event... so we had only the other 4.  Shai and Kalan have been there before... but they were pretty young.  I don't think it ever really registered with them that Grandpa's body was there.  This time it clicked.  Kalan was caught up in the mechanics of it... learning that people are buried under the lawn there.  That his Grandpa was there.  Shai, on the other hand, seemed to make a bigger connection.  She was quiet while we visited... but when it came time to leave, she told Kierstin that she didn't want to go yet.  She asked if she could say a prayer that she could see Grandpa again some day.

She was emotional on the drive home and was crying when we came into the house.  As she sat in my lap, I asked why she was upset.  She just said that she missed Grandpa.  Kalan joined in the conversation and was getting upset as well.  I explained to them, as I have before, that before they came down to join their Mommy and Daddy on Earth, they were with Grandpa in heaven.  He held them in his arms and they sat on his lap and he told them about the family they were coming to join.  And he told them that he loves them and would miss them... but that they would be together again before too long.

There have been many times since Dad died that I have felt that he was near... but never as strongly as when I talk to my kids about him.  They always talk about missing him... they feel the relationship they have with him... they remember him in a way that is different than how we usually think of memory.  They don't remember him biting their ears.  They don't remember Pez candies or watching Magnum PI; scoring Giants baseball games or hearing him sing about his grandparents and Bunkerville.  They don't remember family trips or dancing on his feet to the music of the jukebox... and they have no idea what a 4th of July party can really be.

They didn't get to share those earthly memories... but they know him... and they remember him.  What a great blessing that is for them... and for me.